Oh, how I ran! With each splash of a puddle and each shoulder I rammed into, I thought, "How did I come to this? Kristen 'Always a half hour early to the party' Burke is running across Manhattan to catch the Megabus home?" It all started with a soggy five dollar bill, drenched from walking around the persistent rain all day. I listened to subways flying by as I tried desperately to force the metrocard machine to take my money. Finally giving up and using my debit card for all of two dollars, I jumped on the four train. Unfortunately, the lady behind me was not as spritely and stuck her leg in as the doors were closing. Instead of removing her leg and waiting until the next train, she waited until tow of us pried the door open with our hands to let her in. "You can get hurt that way," one bystander said. "No kidding," the woman replied sinking her teeth into an apple and spitting the seeds unceremoniously into a plastic bag.
Besides a minor stress spasm, I figured I'd be ok. I'd stop at 33rd and 6th and run to 31st and 8th. I ran out of the subway, only to find I was not on 6th, but Park Avenue, a full 4 blocks farther than I thought I would be. And so, I ran. I ran with an overstuffed Estee Lauder bag that my mom had received as a free gift slung over my back. I ran with a Ross umbrella that is so cheap, it's more like a lightning rod that anything else. I ran in Leopard print galoshes and a push-up bra. I ran until I saw Jimmy's Pulled Pork and the rounded side of Penn Station I'd come to know so well. I ran until the Megabus attendant told me I had missed the bus by all of one minute.
My punishment was walking around in the rain for an hour looking for a Tasti-D-Lite, to no avail. I then was shoved on a bus with no Wi-fi with some very unfriendly Philadelphians. No one would give up their seat for a couple with a baby, except me, of course. I moved from my two-seater to a spot next to a heavy man, who punished me by eating hard pretzels out of a lunch box he kept clutched to his stomach like a pirate's chest and then flatulating in his sleep so that I spent the entirety of the trip with my scarf wrapped around my face. Needless to say, I took the first cab I saw in Philadelphia home.
