Take two and never call me again

Doctor: Loss of appetite, fatigue, headaches... Kristen, it looks like you're just REALLY tired. What's your normal sleep schedule?

Me: My what?

Doctor: Your normal sleep schedule?

Me: I don't understand.

Doctor: Well...explain to me your sleep patterns of the last week.

Me: Well, after losing an hour for daylight's savings time on tour, I was up all night thanks to a beeping fire alarm and some people yelling in Spanish by my door, I tried to sleep in the van but the only way to sleep is to curl yourself up around your backpack kind of like that blue painting of that guy curled around the guitar, you know which one I mean? I think it was Picasso? I dunno, I'm bad with art. So the next night I almost got some sleep but my roommate was running in from the laundry mat at 2 am which was actually just some sort of late night party shop that let her IN to the local laundry mat to wash our costumes. And then I could've slept through the next night, but there was a small earthquake. I mean I didn't really feel it, but Mark did. Do you think Deaf people are more prone to feel earthquakes? Something to look into. Anyway, our producers overbooked us, so we got to the next hotel at 2 am and had to be up at 6 am. They gave us an hour to nap in between shows, but my roommate lost her key and then the laundry had to be done the next morning at 7 am and I tried to sleep on the plane but the jet lag was terrible as was that awful DeNiro movie "Everybody's Fine" which made me want to cry infront of a planeful of strangers and that pretty much brings us up to now.

Doctor:....I think what you have is severe exhaustion.

Me: I think what I have is a career in the arts.