There's a billboard in Akron, OH that says "Get a vasectomy during March Madness, Win a Free Pizza!" First question, what is the connection between a vasectomy (a procedure for men who don't wish to have any more children) and March Madness (I believe this refers to basketball, but honestly, I stopped watching basketball after Shaq left the Orlando Magic)? Second question, why is a free pizza an appropriate incentive to get a vasectomy? "Yeah man, actually I really wanted to have two more kids...but then they offered me a free pizza..."
Two children are running up the stairs of the church towards a group of teens:
child #1: I'm not a man. I'm a WOMAN!
child #2: Oh, yeah? When you gonna have a baby!
(Teens chuckle)
teen #1: Ha! 'When You gonna have a baby!' Remember that?
teen #2:...It happened 30 seconds ago.
If Patti LuPone and Mandy Pitinkin call you on stage to do a kick line while you're signing, you say "how high"?
Whenever there's an awkward pause onstage, the appropriate response is to rush the stage like chimpanzees and have a giant MONKEY FIGHT!
"This stapler is my brush."~Craig on the lack of supplies at the Akron Museum of Art Craft station.
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