1. When serving Mr. Gorbachev, be sure to look both ways before you cross the street. Otherwise, you will be steamrolled by eight traditional Russian dancers.
2. Do not naturally assume the young woman with the aging baseball star is his daughter. It is probably his girlfriend. The less attractive girl of the same age standing to their left with the look of disgust on her face? Now THAT is his daughter.
3. Walking closely behind someone's chair while carrying a full glass of water will make you an unwilling participant in a wet t-shirt contest.
4. The minky pepper may look like a string bean but is actually a vegetable medley of instant death. The only cure is banana or cantaloupe, but mango ice creak is a close second.
5. Never stop by a puddle on the street while carrying a cardboard box of muffins and wearing a tuxedo. Monsoon will ensue.
6. Old men can make infinite jokes at your expense when you are carrying "Mushroom Tarts."
7. No one likes Black Bean Sliders.
"What a mediocre party. What an OK gathering of people. They look like they are having a...fine time."~Len and I on lame parties.
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