Cereality

Toaster Sreudel really got the short end of the breakfast food stick. Try hard as it might, it will never be as well liked as the Pop Tart. Don't get me wrong, it is like. Just not well liked. And why not? Flaky pastry, fresh, jammy filling, your own personal packet of frosting; what's not to like? And yet, the Pop Tart will remain the prom queen while the Toaster Struedel smiles through its tears, half-heartedly golf-clapping from the line of other pastry treats in the Breakfast Food Prom Court. (Other such runner-ups would include those packaged cinnamon rolls and apple blintzes. Honey Buns and those disgusting milk and cereal bars stayed home because they couldn't find dates.)

There is also a huge divide in regards to frosted or unfrosted pop-tarts. I discovered this schism (Schism: (n) a divide. My friend taught me to remember this because we were in a language arts class with a kid named Schmidt in the 6th grade. Schmidt is sort of like schism. Not sure why this would remind me of the definition, but apparently it worked) when I was cooped up during a hurricane and all we had to eat were pop-tarts and peanuts. Personally, I prefer frosted. I still remember where I was when I saw the commercial for the Purple Berry ones (whatever flavor that is) and I see the Smore pop-tarts in my dreams. How could anyone prefer unfrosted?