There's something so satisfying about stepping into the "Expert flyer" security line at the Orlando airport. In a time where I feel so unsure about everything in life, this is the one thing I can confidently say I am an "expert" at. I look at the signs thinking, "No, sir, I do NOT need 'special assistance' getting through the security line, and the "Casual Flyer" line? Psh. There is nothing casual about the way I plan to speed through this security line today. I am familiar with the TSA procedures and I have already removed my shoes from my feet and my laptop from my bag. Yessirreebob, I am an "expert" flyer. I will however, without fail, choose the slowest line at the x-ray machine EVERYTIME. I use all my powers of deduction; "Alright that line has a guy with a stoller and two kids, but this lin hasn't even untied their shoelaces..." Regardless, I will always watch longingly as the line as the line I did NOT pick moves smoothly through, while the man in front of me wrestles with his belt buckle while trying to remove his laptop from his brief case. Expert flyer, my butt.